I want to feel again to have this burst of sunshine on my cheek after a long winter, I want the darkness to be a new comer and not have crossed many times the bridge bellow the earth. I want to let sleep take me the way it used to take me when I was little, one more time.

TEARS
The man was a time bomb. I couldn’t touch him without the risk of a calamity, a deflagration bigger than anything I could imagine. A storm and it clouds so full of darkness inside my own throat, spreading to my lungs and brain as it seemed spreading in his mind.
His eyes were thick glass porthole weathered by massive downpours as I saw him as a lost boat rocked by jagged waves. On deck you could almost hear the strain of the chains and ropes holding up the mass and his effort to control it. Down below, a memory full of old stuffs still oiled and conditioned hiding away while doubt was rusting off on the surface. The cargo was bursting of adventures and wild visions tamed by self-doubt.
I realized that my own deck was unruly full of a passion I could never controlled and embarrassed by feelings of not being enough.
We were in the thick of the storm both chaos, and for a short moment I became like him in quest of controlling it, in need of order… Then I remembered who I really was and that control wasn’t meant for me, the sky became liquid and dripped on my shoulder.
It was time to embrace the tumult so I gave up the fear, and lay against him.
What a deep well of thoughts, feelings, and introspection. Powerful and aptly named, Tempest. That’s really what it is. I could see and feel the vision. I could be part of it, his part. I never knew the other part, her part, but I’ve wondered about that for years. I loved the idea of surrendering to the tempest. That is life, raw and powerful. Sheltering from the storm is living with a strange mix of safety and fear. To lean into the wind and rain and taste it is to live without safety or fear; however, short or long that life may be.
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I have lived in his tempest. Surrendering is the only option and I understand it can be so contradictory to our first instinct to fight or crumble.
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I think a choice made after experience and careful thought makes the result more sublime. It’s not to say anything can’t change, but at least for that moment of decision there is a certain beauty in acceptance. Truly loved the honesty of emotion in this post.
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Yes all is in the moment as you say…even love and hate in some case. There is no absolute. Thank you so much.
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Your writing is truly sublime. And life is beautiful, in all her moods.
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Thank you Jeni . Your input is so important and means so much . You know how much I appreciate your art and mind.
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The feeling is so mutual, Agnes.
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