“I am not your rolling wheels – I am the highway.

I am not your carpet ride – I am the sky.” (Audioslave)

I can sense this formidable lie: freedom.

I seem to have lost it for so long but it is peeking out by sudden small bursts of breath. It keeps distilling in my veins this supreme drug: amnesia. A welcomed trance where nothing matters anymore.

Fresh oxygen in my lungs, the allowed caress of a fine white linen shirt on my skin, music and Oz. No need to click my heels I am where I am supposed to be, No need to kill witches, I refresh my own grimoire everyday with spells and potions that can sustain and overpower any mean bigot from the east or west on my path. The flying monkey has disappear and my cage is made of obsolete neon tubes so fragile indeed. Or are they? The gate shines sometimes in a zapping crackling sound, as a desperate flashing attempt to glow and make me blink long enough to darken my perspective.

The scream is near just at the gate of my throat, the scream that says: this is me! I am allowed to feel I am allowed to be and what drama some see, is only expression, art in turmoil.

No one will steal this intensity, because I will scream and I will moan so loud with pleasure and pain that heaven and hell will tremble and shake!

I am not scared to lose, I am not scared to change, life is drama and art is drama: I have lost child, parent, sibling and…love. I am looking back and forward, but slowly the pieces are fitting together into this new image: The one of a great open road where the dead souls in the living world, are on each sides, all dressed up in their 3 pieces suit made of fear, ready to fake their life in telling themselves there is no drama.

I want to live. I want dramatized joy and happiness I want to consume myself in a flash of rebirth I want to accept love and never associate it with an offence again. I want to care and not feel that caring is an infirmity.

I am not civilized and no one will drag me into this half dead state of humanity in order to not disturb anyone, not even the ones I love. I refuse their boundaries, their morality.

“I am not your rolling wheels – I am the highway.
I am not your carpet ride – I am the sky.”