A TALE OF EXILE

Cocoon S

How perfectly strange to be suspended in time.

I always feel not really alive or dead when here. A hollow state of numbness mixed with anticipation of life waiting on the other side where I am, where I really exist.

It is like a hologram of myself would be projected in front of my astonished eyes without my permission. Displaced feelings and sensations muffled by the sounds of humming shadows.

I am surrounded by a thick fog swallowing what really matter, what is in my heart and soul. I want to be present but can’t. Not able to make perfect sense and put back together a puzzled without challenges and with all its depth. I want to learn but I stumble upon only old ideas briefly dusted by the delicate hand of the dead.

Bones remains rattling in my direction, the rest lost in history and hearsay, not trying to stop me any longer. I float, peaceful towards the rush of a huge water fall. I hear the thunder and the rush in a magnificent scream for life. I can’t stop: hurt or glory has no bearing. Consequence is so out of control only acceptance is allowed. The only answer is a smile, sad or joyous, nevertheless a smile.

I hold you in my dreams with this simple tranquility, not totally serene but consenting of the world beyond, its distance and contrasts. I hold you in my dreams but you hold me as well without touch without need, a light breeze on my skin, a cloud of your breath over the curtain of a long lost story.

A tale of exile.

13 thoughts on “A TALE OF EXILE”

  3. Hello Agnes, I wanted to tell you that this post is amazing. Amazing! I read it to Ralph in bed this morning and he agrees. I hope that all your dreams are coming true down there in Sydney. And hopefully you’re seeing as much of Pauline and Tim and your mum as you need to.

    All is well with us, we’ve had a great summer and the beach is its beautiful self. We’re not looking forward to winter and the asthma but nothing else to worry about.

    Gregg is in Taiwan, teaching and working on his music at night. He released some of it last year, or maybe the year before. His name is sineshaper and the music is turnstile if you have a minute to listen.

    Ruby is in year one and is a joy to all of us. We have her with us for some of the school holidays as Kel and Steve are very busy with their jobs. They have just bought a new house, not far from the one they’re in at present and it’s beautiful.

    Bye for now, keep up the wonderful work, love from us, Janellexx

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  6. Loved this post and the graphic image. I can certainly identify with that sense of disconnection. If I could just sit still and take it all in, I think I’d like it. It’s the constant reaching through to the other side and feeling around for things that create the noise in my life. Darn head elves! So noisy sometimes. 😉

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